I was back in that situation where I wanted so bad to enroll, yet, the circumstances just wouldn't allow me. And yes, that time I felt a bit fed up and just ended up saying, "This is just tiring,". And what else should I expect? My wrong thinking led me to the wrong place. Yet, one thing that's really sweet is the fact that I know I am not alone. There is this kind of joy that's just in me and it's still making me smile and laugh despite of the things that's visible. Very ironic, at times, say, when I'm in church, I keep on looking for lines or verses which I can use as my mantra to support my way of thinking. Little do I know that I already have lots of it that keeps me standing up until now. "I will never be put to shame,", "He is, all the while, effectually at work in me,", "He is the great RESTORER,", "He sees and hears me,". Now that I'm not enrolled, and am struggling to find the will to find work, these things He wrote in my heart to help me keep focused to where I should be. Even though most of the time I don't know where my destination is, but at least I am sure and convinced and certain that He who moves me does. He sees that I take the wrong road, that I follow the wrong feelings, still, I rejoice that it's not me who's gonna determine my future but He who sets the paths and shortcuts back to the main road when I seem to take the wrong turns. Now, what's left in me is the feeling of just keeping moving forward. My graduation may again be delayed, but then again, "delays are not denials, but a preparation for something BETTER in the future,". I may be recklessly getting in to things I shouldn't be getting in to, yet He restores and He writes things in my heart. He takes control and nothing in the world, specially not me and my actions, can ever stop Him from making His words come to pass. And His Word said, I am His son, and that can never be taken away from me. :D
"You just keep the fire burning Christian. Listen to what it whispers, and just keep the positivity to its peak. He is here, in you, around you... Never doubt that..."
