Every Sunday means new revelations. The rest are for manifestations.
I came to church helpless. I took a seat, and as usual, let myself get carried away by the music, and i was. I was expecting there's gonna be something explosive, something very powerful and radical. The previous services were, and there's this kind of expectation that the intensity of each services would bring that specific service to the next level. And that expectation was further more intensified by my emptiness. Emptiness that, I'm not gonna be any more specific, was caused by a mistake; a huge, discouraging, shameful, demoralizing mistake. I was totally lost and to somehow spare myself from being negatively emotional, i tried remembering all that was saved in my mind about me being forgiven 2000 years ago and all that, though i know at the back of my mind i was still totally shaken and downed by that earthly force making me think that I'm a no good. So, yes, i was in church, ready to take in His personal words to me. Before communion, several songs were played and oh... I couldn't even count how many times i did get struck by some of the lines, like "Nothing can separate me from your love," and some other. And i just knew, oh this is gonna be good. After communion, the pastor started speaking. He said we will be talking about rest. I already heard that teaching before but out of my being expectant that day, i knew there would be something new. Pastor started talking slowly. I felt a bit bored because again, i was hoping for some strong statements. Statements that are too powerful that it would make them burst out, as what always happens. But no, it was calm and slow. Until i heard Pastor say that it's always good to be reminded of something that we already know. He continued explaining that all God wants us to do is to relax, believe, and receive. He said the perfect state for us to receive and be guided by the Holy Spirit is when we're at rest. It was also mentioned that reckless decisions are made when we're not at rest, in other words, when we're stressed and pressured. And haha. That was a double slap. That made me realize, yes, I've been so stressed that all my decisions were so messed up, and i kept on justifying those by thinking that it could be His plan for me. Which i now know is our enemy's way of distorting God's desire for me, for us, to simply reap all good things from Him. I remembered my problem with a company I signed a contract with. I'm not really contented with what they did offer, but i didn't know why, i still signed the contract. Now i know. I was pressured that time. Pressured and stressed how I'll make things work in the future. School, work, money, time, love life, personal battles -- i never knew i was thinking that much. Consciously i didn't know i was, but now that im putting myself at rest, i realized that i was totally driven by those pressures. Damn, i was. Pastor ended up by saying, go out and watch some movies. Don't deprive yourself of relaxation, and look unto Him. "God,
all the while is effectually at work in and out of you". All the while. Effectually. We may not seem to understand, and most of the time, we dont see at all. But God is moving at the background. Out of our awareness, things are being set up somewhere else for us. And these things are readily available when we need it -- only there is timing, His timing. And that's where most people is having troubles with. Timing. Because of all external forces we tend to do things our time, our way. So that's the point. Be at rest, forget all pressures, live in belief and faith, and its not gonna be you doing things to get to the things you need. Be at rest so that you'll hear the Holy Spirit's instructions, not the noise of pressure. And just like what i thought it was, that Sunday service was strong and powerful. It made the stagnant knowledge of Him in me flow around my heart and operate in faith. Now i'm on my first day after that Sunday, and i'm totally overwhelmed with what's going on. It made clear whatever He's doing. I've been contemplating of going to school to work on my enrollment this past few days, but i was concentrating more on how i would generate money. That contract i signed, i've been having this very negative feeling in me about it, like my instinct speaking to me, saying that i shouldn't have signed it. When i woke up this morning, i told myself, chillax.. I sat down the couch, and just relaxed in front of the TV, listening to a music entitled "Yahweh", then the urge to go to school just popped out in me. So i did. I went to school, talked to my good friend, ate lunch, and just went on with the flow. I followed the instructions of another friend on how to enroll with outstanding balance. And it was totally easy. As in. It didn't even take me an hour to do what needs to be done. So i was told to wait til tomorrow. On my way home, while listening to another song entitled "Better is One Day", the company that i've been talking about called to confirm my first day of training tomorrow, but i said i won't be able to make it and so on. To cut the story short, the contract is now cancelled. And for some reasons i feel happy about it. haha So yep. That's all for day one. What's gonna happen tomorrow? I'll keep you posted. :D
"Christian, relax. Listen to the voice, not to the noise. Concentrate on Him, not on the things you see. There are things that are being moved right now. Just wait.."
