42mins before midnight

"Christian, I'm not gonna let you speak this time. You know you are in great trouble. You know that you've been very shaky, and that you're doing things that you know you shouldn't be doing.You're aware of your weaknesses, you know the things, or persons, that lead you to the direction that you've chosen to condemn. You are scared, you fear your innate capability to destroy all good things that was already set for you. You fear your random choices, your reckless moves, for it already placed you in spaces of darkness and uncertainties and sorrows and more condemnation. You strongly feel within you your vulnerability, your stupidity, your shamefulness, insecurities, inconsistencies, your imperfectness, your gigantic flaws. You know there is a monster living in you. And you're scared of the fact that once it totally wakes up, all the brighter sides of life will all be covered with creepy darkness. You know all those very well... But there's one thing you're forgetting. You are with Him and He is in you. The very fact that you're struggling proves that He's not letting you go. Just be patient, and never let go of the fire that's still (and you can't deny that you can feel it) burning in your soul. It's good that you know how imperfect you are, but that comes with a side note. Jesus loves you NO MATTER WHAT. No matter what. You're still perfect and loved and cared for no matter what. At the end of the day, it's not gonna be about what you know, but it's gonna be His love. Only His love. You remember that, Christian...."